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bit cold out it seems
nissan
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9,270 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi those of you reading.

A few weeks ago a colleague who for the past two years I worked alongside and easily spent more time with than any of my own mates decided to commit suicide. He has left behind a simply devastated group of family and friends, including his newly born son. For me it is only recently sunk in what has occurred and although I am not torn up about it as such I know it has affected me in ways which have lead me into a state where I wouldn't say I'm sound of mind at the moment so bear with me.

Please remember that if you're having trouble dealing with something it is absolutely not a sign of weakness to talk to a mate, a friend, a father, a mother, a son, a daughter or even a random person about it. Heck post it up on the forum and see what others around Australia and the world have to say about it.

We ALL need help. No one is born with the instructions to handle what can happen in our lives and you cannot learn everything there is to know by yourself.

We simply must seek assistance when we come across a situation which we are not equipped to handle.

Do not ever forget about those around you - they might joke about it but at the end of the day they stand by you because they're attracted to whatever it is about you that makes you unique.




thats all.
 

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Gunner
nissan patrol
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4,165 Posts
Never a truer word said Yom. I have lost a number of friends through the same situation. When all is said and done, there is always a solution to all lifes problems, but suicide isnt one of them. You are no less of a person by asking for help or even asking for someone to listen to you.
 

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Rogue
nissan gu patrol
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20,674 Posts
I might also suggest seeking professional help, it is not always able to be dealt with by talking to someone but there can be other reasons behind these problems.

I had a bad stint for a few years, I was cranky, feed up with the world, all the symptoms of depression so my GP put me on anti-depressants, I continued to have problems and it got worse and worse for me. I ended up seeing a hormone specialist and it turned out I had an under active thyroid. I was on treatment for Hypothyroidism for a few years, with other supplements to get my body and brain chemical stuff back on track, now I couldn't be happier, I feel great, I have fun and I no longer deal with bad and difficult situations like I used to, I think clearer and I now easily cope with bigger stressful situations.

So there are a LOT of possible reasons and solutions to your problems, but unless you seek help you may not always get the answer. Other people can help you but they may need to be prompted to do so, no one is a mind reader.
 

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Nissan
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6,089 Posts
Well said Tom.

Recent thread on a members marital issues clearly showed that there is some very good people and help available if you need to talk something out.

As mentioned talking about issues may not be enough and that is where professionals need to step in but at least talking to someone is an extremely important first step.

Cheers

Justin
 

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Triton n Lovin it.
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22,020 Posts
The worst thing about people that are suicidal is, they are very good at hiding their emotional state.:(

You only need to listen to the people that have lost, loved ones and friends, to see how hard it is, to know when someone is in need of help.
 

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KICKEN BACK IN THE BUSH
nissan gq
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4,691 Posts
The advantage now adays is the interweb ,
There are many , myself included, that have no other choice but to bottle it up ,and let it eat us apart
The funny thing with this is,and males included is we are seen as girlies and not manly dealing with these issues
And MOST dont consult others for this very issue
After having 3 nervus breakdowns,being on suicide watch,anti depresants,nearly being commited ect
I realised a change of life and style,minimal debts and minimal life dramas and issues was the answer
People get to hung up on what others say

Anti depresants arent the be all and end all
Its only goin to get worse with lifes over committed life styles
 

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It's all good
nissan patrol
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4,171 Posts
So true , Our son come home to talk to my wife and myself yesterday , Holy crap , some of what he told us he was doing to himself , I was shocked , turns out he is suffering depression , We are glad he told us instead of keeping it bottled up any longer , next step is getting him some help
 

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Triton n Lovin it.
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I am also talking from experience with my daughter. :(

But I have to say now, that all is good since we found out and got help! :)
 

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Nissan
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338 Posts
Well said Yom,

One of my close relatives commited suicided on a lake mid last year, the family searched for him day and night. Sacraficing every time they had to find the body or to see if his about.

I just don't get it, people who commit suicide don't really understand what their close friends and family go through.

And it's not worth it, but there always will be a question mark behind on why did they do it.

All the best Yom.
 

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bit cold out it seems
nissan
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9,270 Posts
Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
I believe the loss of self preservation is a fault in our biological makeup. It is a fault which appears to be unique to humans. Its a shame we have to live with it.

I suspect that once it has been triggered it is possible to prevent the slide from emotional conflict to mental illness. In saying that I do not believe those who commit the act or attempt to were beyond saving. The shameful part of it is that for many of them noone else could have helped them unless they'd asked.

Everyone's contributions have been good. I am glad others are mindful of this topic. It is becoming more and more frequent as the pressures on society increase so its good that people are aware.
 

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5,843 Posts
Blokes can be funny. We'll spend ages trying to chase down a shudder, a vibration or a miss. We'll get plumbers to fix plumbing problems, vets to fix pet problems, search out the right tool to do a particular job at home at work or on the car. But if the problem is something like a brain chemical that can be fixed by having a chat with a GP and taking some medication we don't do it until it's either too late or it's become a bigger problem than it ought to be.

Our brain needs seratonin to keep us happy and working properly. Stress in all it's forms burns seratonin. You can get medication to help your brain burn the seratonin slower. You can get counselling to help deal with stress too. If it was an engine using too much oil too much water or running hot we'd all be on to it and looking for a solution, buying the right stuff after getting the right advice.

We have to look after our health the same way. Get specialist advice when it's needed, use the right tools for the job and get it sorted.

Jeez I hope that makes a little sense because I know where Yoms coming from and some of the other blokes that have had a really $hitty run with people that couldn't get the right help at the right time.
 

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nissan
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68 Posts
Wise words Yom, also others. It is weird i think us blokes escape into our Patrols and think more about them then ourselves, but it is very true.

When did I last do a service on myself, do the best thing for me(penrite oil!),buy myself an accessory!! This sounds funny but putting life in perspective is a task that makes us see why we do what we do.

Going to hell and back is better than cruising around ignorantly, us blokes that have been to hell know what makes us tick, drives us and and what we need to satisfy ourselves and we then head for that in what we do and our relationships.
I have 2 mates well over 50 that are stupid enough to think they can cameo happiness after multiple life changes and not dealing with them. The suicide of one of their work mates saved both of their lives but still they do not care for themselves. It is their choices and want to be better at the human condition that I am patient with but I can see and want better for them, before they shoot themselves in the foot again or maybe eventually the head. Man being a life coach would suck, I would be too honest!!!!

I think that at anytime we need to be ready to listen.
 

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nissan
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Have a mate a work found out last week his missus was "sick", turned out she attempted suicide so I found out when I finally got to talk to him, he has been of work doing the Mr mum thing since, came as quite a surprise but as has already been said too many keep it to themselves to have it all go pear shaped.
Will be making an effort when I fly back in to take the 10km drive out to his place and just say hi and have a chat, and after reading all the above will be doubling my effort

Thanks Yom

When stress starts to get me down I do load a rifle and use it to pick daisy's at long range along with the odd fox, man needs some way to relax and forget/get over s#%t
 

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Nissan
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338 Posts
A few good messages here.

But theres probably one guy we all know here that took this kind of shock (big gq). I know the guy always used to talk about Linc when i use to help him out at his workshop. I remember him saying that aah that guy is more than just a mate, his my brother from another mother (laughs), we had this conversation when Linc gave "his" truck to let him go to Fraser Island, shows true mateship there.
 

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Administrator
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I'll edit this post soon and chime in later on. Some of you know what I'm dealing with lately and others will be surprised
 

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Nissan
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I'll edit this post soon and chime in later on. Some of you know what I'm dealing with lately and others will be surprised
Would be great to know how you are dealing with this mate, but mainly everyone is hoping that the pain has eaised down.
 

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It's all good
nissan patrol
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4,171 Posts
Would be great to know how you are dealing with this mate, but mainly everyone is hoping that the pain has eaised down.
Well said mate, sometimes the burden is eased a little by having someone just listen and not judge
 
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