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If the Meclaren F1 ( I don't mean formula 1 ) left from a standing start then the bugatti veyron could let it get to nearly 200km/h before starting itself and then still beat it to 300km/h.

when I heard this on top gear I thought it was a mistake but it is not.

The only thing that beats this is a quote from a bible basher I once heard when asked "if God can do everything then can he build a rock that is so heavy that even he can't lift it?" the reply was that " God can do everything. So he can build a rock that is so heavy that even he can't lift it, but then he can go ahead and lift it".

I gave up, you can't win against that kind of logic.


Post incredible quotes that you know of as a reply.

Cheers Gordo'
 

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Roads are for Toyota's
nissan patrol 4.2
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Speaking of religion.
The Jehovas say all animals will live in harmony? WTF are sharks gonna eat? Plankton?
 

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Allergic to IFS
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Child - "Mummys house is near here, can we go visit mummy"
Father - "No, last time i saw your mummy she stabbed me, see" *lifting his shirt slightyl*

-On the cleveland train just near Wynnum North station about 18 months ago, seriously, i nearly weed my pants in silent laughter
 

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Not so much a quote but something that has long perplexed me. Islamic artisans always say that they leave a flaw in their workmanship (carpets, bowls, whatever), because only God can make a perfect product. WTF? So they believe that they can make a perfect product, but intentionally make it flawed so that they don't insult God? Do you recognise a flaw in this thinking?

Cheers

Ray
 

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Discussion Starter #5
that reminds me of.

Child - "Mummys house is near here, can we go visit mummy"
Father - "No, last time i saw your mummy she stabbed me, see" *lifting his shirt slightyl*

-On the cleveland train just near Wynnum North station about 18 months ago, seriously, i nearly weed my pants in silent laughter

That reminds me of two smack heads on a train in Melbourne, passing Balaclava station.

Smackhead 1 " mmmm yum Balaclava "

Smackhead 2 " Thats baclava F**kwit "

Smackhead 1 " well what's balaclava then? "

Smackhead 2 " dunno "

Cheers Gordo'
 

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A man whose head is shaped like a Danish Cheese would do well not to rest it on a Grocer's counter.
 

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Speaking of religion.
The Jehovas say all animals will live in harmony? WTF are sharks gonna eat? Plankton?
On what planet is a shark an animal ya tool, its a ****ing fish. :evillaug:
 

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Confucius say 'Screw in bed is better than nail on chair.'

Cheers

Ray
 

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Wise man say, go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger...
 

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I would have thought that a wise man would say," have a good scratch, wash hands then go to sleep".

Cheers Gordo'
Nah, if he was really wise, he would say clean your friggin arse properly you dirty *****! :lol:
 

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this is the recession we had to have .....
 

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Walking through fremantle late one night behind two ***** US navy sailors. Stopped at streetside waiting for green man. One US sailor spots some young heavily suntanned local belles across the other side of the street. Both of these sailors are as black as black can be and very very *****. One turns to the other and says 'if that ain't the ugliest god damned ****** I ever saw.' you have to say it with a real long low lazy southern drawl to really get the joy in the quote. I had to turn away and walk off so as not to laugh aloud!
 

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A fish is an animal , even some plankton is made up partly of small animals.

( who is the tool? )

Cheers Gordo'
Yep your right, i looked it up, I was wrong, guess that makes me the tool hahaha
 

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Walking through fremantle late one night behind two ***** US navy sailors. Stopped at streetside waiting for green man. One US sailor spots some young heavily suntanned local belles across the other side of the street. Both of these sailors are as black as black can be and very very *****. One turns to the other and says 'if that ain't the ugliest god damned ****** I ever saw.' you have to say it with a real long low lazy southern drawl to really get the joy in the quote. I had to turn away and walk off so as not to laugh aloud!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhahhaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....that is pure gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahhaah oh god i have tears!!
 

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Roads are for Toyota's
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Yep your right, i looked it up, I was wrong, guess that makes me the tool hahaha
yeah, I thought I was wrong once...... but I was mistaken!
 

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LED ZEPPELIN
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Tonight, while cooking dinner.

Me: "Soleil, can you go to the toilet before we sit down to dinner please"

Soleil, 3 and a half: "Dad, kiss my bum on channel 1"

:roll:
 
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