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I Have Imaginary Friends
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Squirrels Find Religion

As a band of squirrels had become quite a problem, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they see them only at Christmas and Easter.

And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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The Googlest, Apparently!
nissan patrol
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?'
'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?'
'You dumber than buffalo. It means someone stole the tent'
 
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The Googlest, Apparently!
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Covid-19 long winded dad joke of the day.

It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few further local businesses around Mandurah.

The bra manufacturer has gone bust,
the specialist in submersibles has gone under,
the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation,
a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers,
the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded,
the Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders,
the tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road,
the bread company has run out of dough,
the clock manufacturer has had to wind down and gone cuckoo,
the Chinese has been taken away,
the shoe shop has had to put his foot down and given his staff the boot
and finally the launderette has been taken to the cleaners!
 
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After Monday and Tuesday, even the calender says W
06 Td42ti cab chassis
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Seems everything is made in China ..

Except for babies..

They're made in vachina..😉
 
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A young blonde woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into Sydney Harbour. Just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love with her until dawn.

Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."

"I see," the captain said. Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's sc%^&ing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain, "This is the Manly Ferry."


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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. They were able to scrape $600 together and located a bull that they thought they could purchase.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home'. The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99c a word.

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister is blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly... 'com-for-da-bul.'


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Nissan Patrol GU4 2006 with Cummins ISDE4.5 270HP , 830 NM Engine Conversion
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Kim is well


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This is my best kids ghost story there was an English man,an Irish man & a farmer.the English man arrived in a small town one night,went to the tavern & asked if they had a room for the nite.the owner said the only room left was the one with the ghost in it.ill take it he said.later that night he heard,I am the ghost with the one black eye.& he jumped out the window & killed himself.the Irish man came to town went to the tavern & asked for a room,the owner said the only room left has y ghost in it.I’ll take it.later that night he heard,I am the ghost with the one back eye.and jumped out the window & killed him self.the farmer came to town & asked for a room the tavern owner said we only have the one with a ghost in it.ill take it he said.later that night he heard I am the ghost with the one black eye.he said if you don’t shut up you’ll be the ghost with the two black eyes & the ghost jumped out the window and killed itself
 
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