Joke Thread
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This gay guy has been going to his doctor for a couple of months now complaining about some problem with his rectum.
The doctor can’t find any problem at all even after multiple digital prostate examinations.....
Then one day the poof goes back to the doc saying he thinks something is in his bum hole...
DOCTOR.." You've been coming in here for months and I’ve found nothing wrong with you or your rectum area".
GAY GUY.." Doc, Im sure there is something in there. Can you check?"
DOCTOR.." OK. Take down your pants and bend over the table."
After the guy does this the Doc opens the butt cheeks and shouts, "My god there is something in there".
He grabs hold firmly of the thing and starts to pull harder and harder. Finally.....POP, out it comes.......
DOCTOR.." My god man. You had a bunch of flowers up your anus."
GAY GUY.." Well are you going to read the card?"
The doctor can’t find any problem at all even after multiple digital prostate examinations.....
Then one day the poof goes back to the doc saying he thinks something is in his bum hole...
DOCTOR.." You've been coming in here for months and I’ve found nothing wrong with you or your rectum area".
GAY GUY.." Doc, Im sure there is something in there. Can you check?"
DOCTOR.." OK. Take down your pants and bend over the table."
After the guy does this the Doc opens the butt cheeks and shouts, "My god there is something in there".
He grabs hold firmly of the thing and starts to pull harder and harder. Finally.....POP, out it comes.......
DOCTOR.." My god man. You had a bunch of flowers up your anus."
GAY GUY.." Well are you going to read the card?"
A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
The robot serves him a perfectly prepared ****tail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation
about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and
sexual proclivities The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This
is really cool."
He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around,
and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"
The man responds, "about a 100."
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
Bathurst1000, cricket, supermodels, favourite fast foods, guns, and
women's breasts.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot
one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and
asks,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."
And the robot says... really slowly...
"So...............ya gonna follow the Pies again this year?"
The robot serves him a perfectly prepared ****tail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation
about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and
sexual proclivities The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This
is really cool."
He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around,
and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"
The man responds, "about a 100."
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
Bathurst1000, cricket, supermodels, favourite fast foods, guns, and
women's breasts.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot
one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and
asks,
"What's your IQ?"
The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."
And the robot says... really slowly...
"So...............ya gonna follow the Pies again this year?"
A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms.
The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar.
The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!" St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"
The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar.
The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!" St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"
Doesn't everyone dry their underdaks on the steering wheel ??
lol, a mate in Scotland sends them, he has been working in an african jungle for a few months and just got home so sent a bunch that he gets from his mate in the US.
I left out about 20 that were prettty lame, like this one.
Probably funny as hell to you teacher types.
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