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· The Googlest, Apparently!
NP300
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"It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone." - Andy Rooney.

"The older I get, the better I used to be." – Lee Trevino, Professional Golfer.

"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere." – George Burns.

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain.

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg.

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir.

"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." – Robert Orben.

"You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you're actually not that tired." – Robert Brault

"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns.

"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot.

"The important thing to remember is that I'm probably going to forget." –Unknown.

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us... at age 40, we don't care what they think of us... at age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all." -Ann Landers

"We don't grow older, we grow riper." - Pablo Picasso.

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they're cramming for their final exam"- George Carlin, Comedian.

"Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." - John Wagner.

"Grandchildren don't make a man feel old, it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie.

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old." - Mark Twain.

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett.

"There's one advantage to being 102, there's no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg.

"There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus." - Bob Phillips.

"Looking fifty is great—if you're sixty." - Joan Rivers.

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." – Anonymous.
 

· I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
Joined
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23,156 Posts
  • Haha
Reactions: geeyoutoo

· I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
Joined
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23,156 Posts
An oldy.
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was
a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We
walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS
BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .........You could learn a
lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL
MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'
My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day. You could REALLY
learn something from this one.'
I looked
at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and I should eventually make a full recovery.
 
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