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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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17,340 Posts
Epic fail of a personal nature.

No way to hold company accountable for this one, to be fair 👍
Did either of them look like Clive? 🤣🤣
 
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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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17,340 Posts
Might be a bit convoluted, but you get the gist.

The Engineer's Dictionary

Major Technological Breakthrough Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive It was discovered by accident.
research

Modifications are underway to correct We threw the whole thing out and are
certain minor difficulties starting from scratch.


Project slightly behind original We are working on something else.
schedule due to unforseen difficulties


The designs are well within allowable We just made it, stretching a point
limits or two

Customer satisfaction is believed We are so far behind schedule that the
assured customer was happy to get anything at
all from us.

Close project coordination We should have asked someone else or
let's spread the responsibility for
this.

A number of different approaches are We don't know where we're going, but
being tried we're moving.

Extensive effort is being applied on We just hired three new guys; we'll
a fresh approach to the problem let them kick it around for a while.



The design will be finalized in the We haven't started this job yet, but
next reporting period we've got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying It works, and are we surprised!

Preliminary operational tests are The dam thing blew up when we turned
inconclusive it on.

The entire concept will have to be The only guy who understood the thing
abandoned left.
 
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Premium Member
nissan
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7,302 Posts
Might be a bit convoluted, but you get the gist.

The Engineer's Dictionary

Major Technological Breakthrough
Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive research
It was discovered by accident.

Modifications are underway to correct certain minor difficulties
We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforseen difficulties
We are working on something else.

The designs are well within allowable limits
We just made it, stretching a point or two

Customer satisfaction is believed assured
We are so far behind schedule that the customer was happy to get anything at all from us.

Close project coordination
We should have asked someone else or let's spread the responsibility for this.

A number of different approaches are being tried
We don't know where we're going, but we're moving.

Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem
We just hired three new guys; we'll let them kick it around for a while.

The design will be finalized in the next reporting period
We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying
It works, and are we surprised!

Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive
The dam thing blew up when we turned it on.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned
The only guy who understood the thing left.
For a minute there I was lost.
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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17,340 Posts
Yes, that’s better. It didn’t copy pasta too well.
 

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Every dog has his day
2005 TD42 GU IV
Joined
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18,723 Posts
So I’m currently in the midst of my first major construction project, having normally been involved in maintenance, upgrade projects and shutdowns.

What an eye opener… supposedly the jewel in the Rio Tinto crown, the highest tech iron ore mine on the planet.

lol

We are working under the umbrella of a crushing company largely comprised of knuckle dragging half wits.

After raising a point at pre start about unannounced incursions into our work area by machinery and personnel (we’re including a 988 Cat loader here, not a small toy), today one of my blokes rings and complains that he was using a compactor, to find that behind him, driven by a supervisor, with no spotter, was a bobcat with its bucket 500mm from old mates head! On very uneven ground!

There are a thousand ways that could go pear shaped, and that’s a window seat on any mine in the known world.

So I pulled out the whole crew from that job. The superintendent comes along and says it’s a priority job and why are we not doing it? With a full head of steam I tuned him in to the facts of life and said under no circumstances would I any longer allow my crew to work within the same area as one single one of their idiots and if something wasn’t done about their cowboys I would be going straight to Rio, (or rather Worley, the project managers), who I assured him would be MOST enthusiastic in their enquiries regarding my safety complaints.

So I wasn’t copping that one, but now somehow I’M the bad guy!!!?????!

What, because I want my crew to survive to see bloody Christmas????

So it gets better ….

I said to one of the guys, “what’s wrong with this picture?”

With no takers I added; “that orange EWP, I tagged it out of service over a week ago due to a large puddle of hydraulic oil on the ground under the slew ring. So why is it now over there when I haven’t seen anyone come to repair it?”

Apparently, over the radio, (I hadn’t heard it), the conversation went as follows;

“The blue one is busy, use the orange one”

“That’s tagged out with an oil leak”

“Yeah but we need it so just fill it up.”

And there it is… certainly not where I left it.

Sky Tire Vehicle Wheel Truck


On what planet is that not a lifetime ban from site?

An EWP FFS? A guy’s life depends on the thing working properly while he’s 15 metres in the air, it has hydraulic leaks but they are told to use it ‘because we need it’!!!!!!!

I am beyond $&@&ing speechless.

No bloody wonder mining construction has such a horrendous fatality rate, not sure I want to hang around to deal with the consequences of the crusher cowboys actions.

Sorry about the rant but I am livid, and pretty disillusioned with it all to be honest.

This is 2021 FFS.
 

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Every dog has his day
2005 TD42 GU IV
Joined
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18,723 Posts
Worksafe couldn’t really give a shlt.
DMIRS is where it’s at, (Mines Department), but it would never get that far. If I tell Neil at Worley to look at the prestart book on the EWP and show him my daily notes on prestart discussions and the day’s jobs and goings-on (and I am very thorough I might add) then explain the bobcat incident, he’ll shut down the site and drag everyone above me in crusher land over the coals.

I am very pissed off, and the hypocrisy of this lot when they stand up in meetings is beyond a joke, telling everyone that safety is the number one priority.

At least when I say that I mean it, it’s not my money and I’m not standing in front of someone’s wife or mother explaining why old mate isn’t coming home, so I’ve still refused to let the crew back on that particular job as they still have an excavator there. The boss over there is pissed at me big time so I think it’s time I had a chat with Neil.

Very approachable bloke and I’m sure he’ll see things my way 😇
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
Joined
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17,340 Posts
Worksafe couldn’t really give a shlt.
DMIRS is where it’s at, (Mines Department), but it would never get that far. If I tell Neil at Worley to look at the prestart book on the EWP and show him my daily notes on prestart discussions and the day’s jobs and goings-on (and I am very thorough I might add) then explain the bobcat incident, he’ll shut down the site and drag everyone above me in crusher land over the coals.

I am very pissed off, and the hypocrisy of this lot when they stand up in meetings is beyond a joke, telling everyone that safety is the number one priority.

At least when I say that I mean it, it’s not my money and I’m not standing in front of someone’s wife or mother explaining why old mate isn’t coming home, so I’ve still refused to let the crew back on that particular job as they still have an excavator there. The boss over there is pissed at me big time so I think it’s time I had a chat with Neil.

Very approachable bloke and I’m sure he’ll see things my way 😇
Stick with your guns. OH&S is the major thing that brings your workers home alive. There will be flack (I know you are ready for that), but in the back rooms there will be people who will know who they want on their sites to protect their employees. A safe site will always get the better personel.
 

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Registered
1989 GQ TD42 wagon
Joined
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3,030 Posts
Worksafe couldn’t really give a shlt.
DMIRS is where it’s at, (Mines Department), but it would never get that far. If I tell Neil at Worley to look at the prestart book on the EWP and show him my daily notes on prestart discussions and the day’s jobs and goings-on (and I am very thorough I might add) then explain the bobcat incident, he’ll shut down the site and drag everyone above me in crusher land over the coals.

I am very pissed off, and the hypocrisy of this lot when they stand up in meetings is beyond a joke, telling everyone that safety is the number one priority.

At least when I say that I mean it, it’s not my money and I’m not standing in front of someone’s wife or mother explaining why old mate isn’t coming home, so I’ve still refused to let the crew back on that particular job as they still have an excavator there. The boss over there is pissed at me big time so I think it’s time I had a chat with Neil.

Very approachable bloke and I’m sure he’ll see things my way 😇
OK, the mines department will do as your backup. But definitely get your mate Neil on the blower ASAP. These crusher plicks need a new poo chute installed, pronto.
 

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Premium Member
nissan
Joined
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7,302 Posts
So I wasn’t copping that one, but now somehow I’M the bad guy!!!?????!
Wear the badge with honour. I used to end up in that situation all the time. It was actually beneficial for my boss not to be the bad guy because it allowed him to negotiate with other trades in a less combative atmosphere than if he had just been the guy that pulled the electrical crew off the job. I didn't give a rat's arse what the other foremen thought of me and the combination worked pretty well.
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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17,340 Posts
Keep us informed. 👍
 
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Registered
nissan gq
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2,477 Posts
Leaving camp now. I foresee a particularly firey pre start meeting today 😇
Many times I was allocated unsafe/roadworthy equipment and "declined " to use it [ a couple of times direct verbal intimidation was attempted ] and saw it passed to others who caved and did as they were told.I identified an ABS fault,which was test driven by maint staff " no fault found " and weeks later a maint supevisor told me there was a fault in the controller,so there was effort put into discrediting people reporting faulty gear.A memo was posted questioning disquiet about faults not being rectified,so I asked the boss to walk out to a machine I wrote up more than a week before,and showed him the seat belt still hanging out because the retractor was buggered,so others had used it meantime and maint had returned it to service unrepaired.
To save a buck,some will risk thousands.:mad:
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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17,340 Posts

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Registered
1998 2.8GU wagon
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3,071 Posts
Might be locked up for decking someone who desperately needed it.
 
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Every dog has his day
2005 TD42 GU IV
Joined
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18,723 Posts
Haha! Gold looking more likely lol

It was actually a bit of an anti climax. At pre start I told the crew they are not under any circumstances allowed to work if a crusher bloke has any internal combustion operated machine, big or small, within 50 metres. And in a pointed barb at my boss, who I don’t think backed me as well as he should, I told them that if anyone at all, no matter who it was or how high up the food chain, told them to work within 50 metres of machinery, they could ring me even on break and I would ring Neil and give him the whole nine yards.

I used to think shutdown crews were knuckle draggers but this construction crap is another whole level.

One of them got a bit upset when I refused to lend him a Milwaukee rattle gun. I said no prob, pointing to a vacant spot inone of our toolboxes, just bring back the stubby number two Phillips you borrowed yesterday, the 10mm ratchet spanner the day before, and the diesel jerry can you helped yourself to the day before that, otherwise fk off.

So I’ve made myself unpopular but pfft… they mostly make two short planks look like a computer.

We’re talking about a bloke with a tape measure along a length of steel, who yells “what have you got?”, to the bloke with the zero (starting) end. On a Sunday night it would take most of them an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.

So I’m home now, back up there Thursday for 22 days. The longest 22 days of my life, I suspect.
 

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Every dog has his day
2005 TD42 GU IV
Joined
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18,723 Posts
Aaaaand…..

Like it’s not bad enough as it is,.,, one of the apprentices sent me these screenshots from Facebook asking if it’s really this bad (due up there on Monday after a Tafe stint);

Font Screenshot Number Document Parallel

Food Ingredient Recipe Cuisine Dish

Food Ingredient Recipe Wood Staple food

Food Recipe Ingredient Dish Cuisine


Sadly I had to confirm this indeed the case.
I only even go to dinner every second night when I have to, a couple of midstrengths and a pack of samboys seems a better option, and some of the guys just take frozen pasties to put in the pie warmer, thinking they can’t bugger them up surely (not so sure). At breakfast if I have yoghurt, muesli and canned fruit, often the fruit is crunchy like it’s been frozen. Wtf! Some of the lunch slops just leave you shaking your head. Crackers and vegemite are safe options I think.

Geez loving life just now…
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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17,340 Posts
Bit of tomato sauce, it’ll right. 😉🪰
 
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