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nissan
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Discussion Starter #1
My mum passed away April this year leaving Dad at home on his own in his mid eighties. Mum always took care of finances so my sister took over as she lives nearby. Seemed like the logical move and she offered to manage. Silly me didn't put any checks in place!! I was advised mid June by the Funeral Home that the account was still outstanding? Can't contact Sister and Dads bank advises he has $2.54 in his account o_O We have had to come up with several thousand dollars to settle numerous outstanding accounts and ensure he can function. He is very emotional throughout this having just lost Mum and cannot understand why his daughter has done this to him. Appears there is a gambling issue which I have just become aware has existed for some years and explains the previous hard luck stories that have resulted in us gifting them money to correct dire situations? I am now committed to 1500km/16 hour fortnightly drives to visit to reassure him and set him up for the fortnight. He has Meals on Wheels and Blue Care but is very lonely and sometimes emotional during our daily phone calls. We have discussed him moving to Townsville with us or staying in Rockhampton in a nursing home, nether of which he likes. Thankfully he has a little dog for company that gives him a reason to get out of bed. Not sure how this is going to pan out. :confused:
I have heard a lot of horror stories about elderly folk being mistreated and most depressingly family members have often been the perpetrators. :mad:
 

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GUII ZD30DI Wgn
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My mum passed away April this year leaving Dad at home on his own in his mid eighties. Mum always took care of finances so my sister took over as she lives nearby. Seemed like the logical move and she offered to manage. Silly me didn't put any checks in place!! I was advised mid June by the Funeral Home that the account was still outstanding? Can't contact Sister and Dads bank advises he has $2.54 in his account o_O We have had to come up with several thousand dollars to settle numerous outstanding accounts and ensure he can function. He is very emotional throughout this having just lost Mum and cannot understand why his daughter has done this to him. Appears there is a gambling issue which I have just become aware has existed for some years and explains the previous hard luck stories that have resulted in us gifting them money to correct dire situations? I am now committed to 1500km/16 hour fortnightly drives to visit to reassure him and set him up for the fortnight. He has Meals on Wheels and Blue Care but is very lonely and sometimes emotional during our daily phone calls. We have discussed him moving to Townsville with us or staying in Rockhampton in a nursing home, nether of which he likes. Thankfully he has a little dog for company that gives him a reason to get out of bed. Not sure how this is going to pan out. :confused:
I have heard a lot of horror stories about elderly folk being mistreated and most depressingly family members have often been the perpetrators. :mad:
Sorry to hear that mate. Yes, not an uncommon problem, have seen it with families a few times over my lifetime, I've seen grubs go into a home and clear it out straight after a death, when it comes to peoples bad habits about money, sometimes family doesn't matter. When my estranged Father died his 'family' cleared out his bank account and where he lived, then rang me (I was working away on a project when it happened) to pay a share of his funeral, I actally contacted the funeral home and paid the entire cost so that I would never need to see or hear from them again. Hope you get it sorted mate.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Cheers mate. Bit taken back by it all and has certainly impacted on us heavily but we'll hang in there and ensure Dads welfare is primary. :cool:
 

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He has Meals on Wheels and Blue Care but is very lonely ..
We have discussed him moving to Townsville
Change is not easy for the elderly but unless he has some special friends in Rocky that are important to him and he sees often, you need to get him close to you in Townsville as soon as you can. The surroundings will be unfamiliar to him but he will adjust to that quickly if he has some people that are special to him nearby, particularly if there are any grandchildren (and great grandchildren) nearby. It will also help to draw a line under the bad experience with his daughter in Rocky. He may have lots of fond memories of Rockhampton with your mum but it won't be the same without her and he won't lose those memories by moving to another town. It really sounds like there is nothing left there for him other than heart ache so get him close to you so you can see him often without the disaster of a day's drive each way.

Hope it works out.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Thanks mate
Agree with your thoughts just need to convince a stubborn old timer what will be best for him.
 

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Thanks mate
Agree with your thoughts just need to convince a stubborn old timer what will be best for him.
Maybe play on the dog factor as well as your immediate family to talk him into it, I'm sure you can use your wiles to your advantage.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I've planned a road trip next week to visit where he grew up and spend some time together. Hoping to hear some good stories from back then. Maybe we'll even get a little closer to a workable solution.
 

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Geez that's a bugger. I think getting him to your home is the best option. Hopefully you can get that to happen. Good luck with it.
 

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Bring him home for a fortnight's holiday. At least then he can dip his toe in the water without making it a permanent commitment. Take him back at the end of it but in your phone conversations afterwards keep referring to how good it was to have him in town and how much better it would be if he was nearby all the time.
 

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I hope they are now locked out of having any access to the account?

Foo

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Discussion Starter #11
I hope they are now locked out of having any access to the account?

Foo

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We've got that sewn up water tight now. Cheers.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Bring him home for a fortnight's holiday. At least then he can dip his toe in the water without making it a permanent commitment. Take him back at the end of it but in your phone conversations afterwards keep referring to how good it was to have him in town and how much better it would be if he was nearby all the time.
Just back from Rocky and bloody doctor has just given him medical certificate to continue driving for 12 months. Have got his sister and couple of Grandkids looking in on him as he insists he is quite ok at the moment. This combined with having everything delivered to him will allow me to extend to monthly visits and daily phone calls for now. Working on him coming here for Xmas and see what happens from there. He loved the trip back to where he grew up and we found a road in a National Park that was named for his father for his service as a Ranger after he returned from the war.!!:cool:
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Just got back from Rocky as Dad had a fall recently and had a couple of weeks in hospital. Brought him back to his home Tuesday with a care package of 12 weeks duration to support him at home, which is still what he wants. I'm not confident so we are now looking at options to relocate him here (just in case;)) Had his little dog here for the two weeks and that isn't going to work, one of the kids cats reminds me of Horse out of Footrot Flats so wouldn't be good for the dog.
 

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You could muzzle the cat. 馃ぃ馃槈
 

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Discussion Starter #15
Interesting animal that, hes a killer but daughter can do just about anything to him and all good. Baths him every week and you can see he hates it but just cops it:rolleyes: I don't like cats but hes got a bit of character.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
We've had a bit of a rough trot with skin cancers for Dad with two recently removed which required skin grafts. Fair bit of pain in that for him. He had a Squamous Cell Carcinoma on his head and a Basal Cell Carcinoma on his right shin which he left too long without attention and they both became a big job. Certainly highlights the need to get on them early!! (See picture) Add the 100mm x 75mm piece of skin they removed from his right inner thigh to patch those two and he's had a bit of a going over. He is healing well and we are moving him to Townsville next month to live. Next trip will be fifteenth trip to Rocky this year and I have to say that drive doesn't appeal to me. Towing a big trailer to shift the gear he needs and of course the dog. Looking forward to spending the time with him and not on the road. We'll think about what is going to happen with his house and contents next year after we take a bit of a breath. Won't bore you with all the detail but what a mammoth undertaking this has been to date.
photo.JPG.jpg
 

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We've had a bit of a rough trot with skin cancers for Dad with two recently removed which required skin grafts. Fair bit of pain in that for him. He had a Squamous Cell Carcinoma on his head and a Basal Cell Carcinoma on his right shin which he left too long without attention and they both became a big job. Certainly highlights the need to get on them early!! (See picture) Add the 100mm x 75mm piece of skin they removed from his right inner thigh to patch those two and he's had a bit of a going over. He is healing well and we are moving him to Townsville next month to live. Next trip will be fifteenth trip to Rocky this year and I have to say that drive doesn't appeal to me. Towing a big trailer to shift the gear he needs and of course the dog. Looking forward to spending the time with him and not on the road. We'll think about what is going to happen with his house and contents next year after we take a bit of a breath. Won't bore you with all the detail but what a mammoth undertaking this has been to date.
View attachment 514060
Wow, no wonder he's in a bit of pain. :eek: Hope all settles down for you from now on, Qik. ;)

Foo
 

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He is healing well and we are moving him to Townsville next month to live.
This is going to make life so much easier for all of you. Sure there will be some disadvantages and compromises but it has to be a step in the right direction.

Has a report been made to the police about the theft of your dad's money?
 

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Discussion Starter #20
No mate, he does not want to do that, so we have respected his wishes. I think in his heart he thinks that in time resolution will happen? My wife and I though do not share his optimism or interest.
Another little cherub that reaffirmed our decision to move him is a month prior to the missing money issue my sister organised for Dads bathroom to be renovated, at Dads expense of course, $7000.00 roughly, not completed and Blue Care have listed it as an unacceptable slip risk because due the dodgy work the water doesn't drain. And you guessed it a cash job by someone they knew and unknown to me. Because it is not completed Blue Care will not touch it so arranged for a builder to examine and he has quoted a full strip out and fit out $15,000. This gig just keeps on giving!!
 
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