Now while the finer sex of our species is ofcourse something to be praised, the mind does from time to time question the rituals of women
Take for example, the night of the chinese restaurant with no womens toilet paper. The missus is most put out that even though she only did a wiz, theres no toilet paper. And I'm busy with scotch, and my honey king prawns and thinking if I should start on the duck now or have more prawns. She insists!!! So I swallow my scotch, even though I was beginning to get a nice note of peat coming out, no no no no phucking no. Not for you ol mate, your just gunna have to skull it now like an amateur drinker and not savour the flavour.....
So shes waiting for me to respond...Indignantly, I'm "well darling, Im afriad your going to have to go back in their and do a hand stand in front of the hand drying machine"
She flashes the look of death, which after years of marriage, I've learnt has a mysterious way of returning months later when its all forgotten about by anything that carries gonads. So Im forced to get up, go into the male toilet, see there is none there, spend three minutes hassling the waiters about it, then be handed some paper napkins to be taken back to the missus at the table
I get back, the prawns are gone, and worse she's already gone next door to their toilet....
So I say, "you know honey you used to go 4wding with me anywhere before marriage, and now, weve progressed to you sooking about wee paper and refusing to go on trips with anything but camping sites with atleast pit toilets!"
The look of death continued, so I have no resort but to retreat for now and plot my strategy for a decisive, conquering warfare strategy. I'm thinking guerilla tactics as this is asymmetric warfare, wear her down over time, desensitise her to the issue at hand, go the psy ops with irregular and unknown attack intervals, but dont be drawn into any extended engagements or open fields of discussion for counter attack
Take for example, the night of the chinese restaurant with no womens toilet paper. The missus is most put out that even though she only did a wiz, theres no toilet paper. And I'm busy with scotch, and my honey king prawns and thinking if I should start on the duck now or have more prawns. She insists!!! So I swallow my scotch, even though I was beginning to get a nice note of peat coming out, no no no no phucking no. Not for you ol mate, your just gunna have to skull it now like an amateur drinker and not savour the flavour.....
So shes waiting for me to respond...Indignantly, I'm "well darling, Im afriad your going to have to go back in their and do a hand stand in front of the hand drying machine"
She flashes the look of death, which after years of marriage, I've learnt has a mysterious way of returning months later when its all forgotten about by anything that carries gonads. So Im forced to get up, go into the male toilet, see there is none there, spend three minutes hassling the waiters about it, then be handed some paper napkins to be taken back to the missus at the table
I get back, the prawns are gone, and worse she's already gone next door to their toilet....
So I say, "you know honey you used to go 4wding with me anywhere before marriage, and now, weve progressed to you sooking about wee paper and refusing to go on trips with anything but camping sites with atleast pit toilets!"
The look of death continued, so I have no resort but to retreat for now and plot my strategy for a decisive, conquering warfare strategy. I'm thinking guerilla tactics as this is asymmetric warfare, wear her down over time, desensitise her to the issue at hand, go the psy ops with irregular and unknown attack intervals, but dont be drawn into any extended engagements or open fields of discussion for counter attack
