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Y61=WIN
nissan
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Discussion Starter #1
Now while the finer sex of our species is ofcourse something to be praised, the mind does from time to time question the rituals of women

Take for example, the night of the chinese restaurant with no womens toilet paper. The missus is most put out that even though she only did a wiz, theres no toilet paper. And I'm busy with scotch, and my honey king prawns and thinking if I should start on the duck now or have more prawns. She insists!!! So I swallow my scotch, even though I was beginning to get a nice note of peat coming out, no no no no phucking no. Not for you ol mate, your just gunna have to skull it now like an amateur drinker and not savour the flavour.....

So shes waiting for me to respond...Indignantly, I'm "well darling, Im afriad your going to have to go back in their and do a hand stand in front of the hand drying machine"

She flashes the look of death, which after years of marriage, I've learnt has a mysterious way of returning months later when its all forgotten about by anything that carries gonads. So Im forced to get up, go into the male toilet, see there is none there, spend three minutes hassling the waiters about it, then be handed some paper napkins to be taken back to the missus at the table

I get back, the prawns are gone, and worse she's already gone next door to their toilet....

So I say, "you know honey you used to go 4wding with me anywhere before marriage, and now, weve progressed to you sooking about wee paper and refusing to go on trips with anything but camping sites with atleast pit toilets!"

The look of death continued, so I have no resort but to retreat for now and plot my strategy for a decisive, conquering warfare strategy. I'm thinking guerilla tactics as this is asymmetric warfare, wear her down over time, desensitise her to the issue at hand, go the psy ops with irregular and unknown attack intervals, but dont be drawn into any extended engagements or open fields of discussion for counter attack
 

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I Have Imaginary Friends
Patrol Hybrid.
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16,049 Posts
I learnt very early in the relationship, always carry a roll of good quality toilet paper in the vehicle. Keep it fresh and replace when less than half used. Must work as 40th anniversary is approaching.
 

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Registered
Nissan
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500 Posts
You could always buy her one of these.

It's called a "she wee"
Wrap it nice and toss it to her on your next anniversary.

It doesn't address the paper problem tho. Maybe throw a pair of undies in with the she wee.
You could go all out and get "pi$$y pants" embroided on them for that extra classy touch.

.
 

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Y61=WIN
nissan
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3,003 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Love it tru blu - she wee, and I could even wrap it with some flowers. A suprise with hidden meaning for her ;)
 

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A Quiet One
nissan
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455 Posts
Love it tru blu - she wee, and I could even wrap it with some flowers. A suprise with hidden meaning for her ;)
wrap it, mate I'd use it as the vase!
 

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Premium Member
nissan
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5,279 Posts
You could always buy her one of these.

It's called a "she wee"
Wrap it nice and toss it to her on your next anniversary.

It doesn't address the paper problem tho. Maybe throw a pair of undies in with the she wee.
You could go all out and get "pi$$y pants" embroided on them for that extra classy touch.

.
Now there's a multi purpose tool when camping if I've ever seen one. Geez the ideas are endless. You could use it as a funnel or for hurling the dog a ball ( the pet of course ). If you had two it would make a fun ball game on the beach with the kids. I suppose with a bit of extra hose on the end you could even redirect your fart stench out of the camper or tent. Might be a little hard to get a good seal but couldn't hurt.
Great invention. LOL
 

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The Googlest, Apparently!
nissan patrol
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nissan
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Women and toilets have a strange affinity. They all know where the loo's are and use them often. I see them at the supermarket, 90% women are using them, not many blokes.

I suppose it's understandable, if we were getting poked in the bladder all the time we might go to the dunny more often as well.
 

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The Googlest, Apparently!
nissan patrol
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15,795 Posts
I take it, M doesn't bother with this site......lol.

Cheers....Lionel.
lol, yes she does on occasion mate. Also showed he how to search for all my posts (she already knows my passwords to everything).

Luckily M has a sense of humour.

Last wedding anniversary I posted on FB that the last 34 years have been fantastic and I was looking forward to the next 34.

She posted back that she should have gone ahead with her plan back in 1985, as she would have served the time by now and be free ... :roll:
 
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